Doing “The Work” Has Made Me Brave
Six months ago, my husband and I sold everything, walked away from successful careers, left our remarkable 19-year-old son and loyal 11-year-old golden retriever, and ventured into a world of uncertainty. Sounds really brave, right? If you and I were sitting down for coffee for the first time, I would have told you what I have told myself for years…
“I hate change.”
“I like predictability.”
“I need to feel safe.”
What? If that’s all true, then how am I sitting in Madrid, Spain, homeless and unemployed. These are just stories I have told myself. False narratives, designed to build walls that give the illusion of safety and stability.
I believed these stories. I commonly told people that change was hard, messy and I never liked it. I believed that a necessary part of my happiness was driven by the importance of being safe and secure.
Lies! All Lies! In reality, I do like change. I want to be wowed and surprised by life. I want to soak up getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. I find change invigorating and scary and beautiful and necessary! How did I come to this conclusion? I started to do “The Work.”
A practice that helps you do a deep inquiry about the stories you tell yourself. A meditation practice that empowers you to challenge these stories that have often prevented you from being your authentic self and exploring the wisdom of who’s inside you.
Byron Katie, an internationally known American author, and speaker developed this concept of the work as a way to challenge these self-limiting beliefs we carry with us.
She challenges us to ask 4 simple questions.
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
Since I have made this transition into a nomadic life, I have used these questions to help me scale the wall of self-limiting beliefs. When I tell myself that it's irresponsible for me to live this untethered life. I ask myself “Is it true?” It's a simple yes or no answer.
If it's yes, then I go to the next question. “Do I absolutely know that it's true?” What evidence do I have to support this belief or story? If none exists, then I move to the last question, “What would I be without this thought?”
I would be a brave, open-minded, spontaneous, courageous person experiencing a vibrant and technicolor life. I would be less worried about what others think and more focused on the wisdom I carry and how I am intended to show up in the world.
These have been my “Ah-Ha” moments over the last 6 months. When I stripped away the distractions of my life, I was forced to evaluate those obstacles that prevented me from being the best version of myself. It’s a constant ebb and flow that helps me remain curious and present.
So! I challenge you. What stories do you tell yourself that prevent you from being the master of your world? Are they true? I mean, are they really true? If not, who would you be without these thoughts and stories?
