I Want to be a Traveler and Not a Tourist – Here’s One Small Way to Do That
Do you like to stand out in a crowd? Or do you like to dissolve into the background? There are pros and cons to both scenarios, but which do you think is a better way to travel? Would you rather be seen as a Traveler or as a Tourist?
There are many different ways to learn about a new place while giving something back to the people who are welcoming you into their country or town. A focus on “giving back” can propel you out of the tourist category and into the good graces of those who have opened their home to you. There are big ways to give back and small ways to give back.
Here we’ll talk about one small way. And if you’re somewhat new to travel, remember this when taking a photo or video of (or with) the people who live there.
It is important to ask if it’s ok to take an individual’s photo, because it is not ok with everyone. This may be for personal or cultural reasons. Gina has had several people tell her no, in various circumstances. And because our goal is to melt seamlessly into their environment, rather than imposing our wishes or norms on them – we fully respect their decision.
Most people with whom we have interacted are more than happy to oblige – especially those who realize that the photo is intended to help provide others with something new or enlightening about the individual or about their home.
Gina learned from this lady that women living in the mountain villages outside of Hanoi, Vietnam come down to the city to sell the fruit they have left, in an effort to bring in some extra income – often as little as $1 per day. The load they carry can weigh 80 pounds or more. Because they often have no permit to sell, they move non-stop throughout the day.
There’s Always A Story
Gina learned from this lady that women living in the mountain villages outside of Hanoi, Vietnam come down to the city to sell the fruit they have left, in an effort to bring in some extra income – often as little as $1 per day. The load they carry can weigh 80 pounds or more. Because they often have no permit to sell, they move non-stop throughout the day.
It is important to remember that there should be a meaningful give (“thank you”) that goes along with the photo you take. Purchasing something they are selling is often the best way to show your appreciation. Of course this is easier if you are not living out of your backpack, but there are always plenty of small items to choose from if space is a legitimate concern. In this case, food was a perfect purchase!
Showing an appreciation for the wares someone is selling may go hand-in-hand with a broader discussion that can be very educational.
A quick photo with her gave an opportunity for us to buy some delicious fruit, provide something for her family, and learn a bit about her lifestyle.
Other folks may simply appreciate some money for taking the photo itself, and we’re happy to provide that.
A new traveler, however, might find themselves in an unexpected situation at the other end of the spectrum, as we did. There are some who SOLICIT a photo from the traveler with the expectation of payment – which is fine – if you’re aware that this is the purpose. On the other hand, if you weren’t intending to take a photo and don’t have much cash, the situation can unravel into something unanticipated.
In another city, Hoi An, a lady with a beautiful smile came up to us and asked us to take a picture with her.
As soon as I pushed the button, her smile went away …
And when I couldn’t find the size bills she wanted (because we hadn’t planned on taking any photos) things got aggressive and heated on her end.
We gave her what we could and had to move on. We call her the “Gucci” lady because of her outfit, and she taught us some important lessons about travelling. Although tempted, we can’t make judgements about her based on the brand of an outfit or the cash held in her hand throughout our conversation. There are alternate arguments for each of those things.
The newer traveler may not realize that when someone is offering a photo opportunity for you – it is, in all likelihood, coming with expectation. Knowing that ahead of time, will allow you the option to decide your preference and either contribute in a meaningful way or avoid an unsolicited situation. It’s also good to remember that the severity of the request often comes from a place of need.
And remember that giving back is the goal. Here is the real takeaway. Out of the 17 countries we’ve traveled to in the last year, this situation is only one of two interactions that have gone south. Literally every other person we have met and engaged with - both superficially and on a deeper level - has been kind, beautiful in spirit and even inspirational.
This was a lesson for us, not so much on what to look for or avoid in a conversation, but instead on how rare this was – how far afield it was from the overwhelming generosity that has existed for us across the planet! We were so struck by the situation with this lady because it was so different from all our other experiences. She helped us appreciate, even more, the loving and encouraging parts of human nature we have witnessed across every border. And more than that, she clarified the math for us on positive versus negative in this journey. The negative has been negligible. The positive has been everywhere.
As we travel, we do the very best we can to respect the people we meet and the customs of the places we visit. We hope to leave behind a good impression of Americans, and to grow and learn ourselves. We have found there is no better way to expand our own horizons than through the helpful support of those we meet in lands far from our own.
